Friday 29 November 2013

WISDOM.


Yesterday I visited the dentist for the first time in...oh....far too many years....

The good news?  No cavities!

The bad news?  Tartar buildup so bad that they couldn't scrape every tooth in one sitting!  They cleaned up the bottoms but I've got to go back in 2 weeks to get the top set done...

The WORSE news?  Wisdom teeth.  IMPACTED Wisdom teeth.

I used to think that Wisdom teeth were called that because they didn't grow in until you were older, and presumably wiser.  However, NOW I know the TRUTH! 

For you see, the Dentist explained to me what would happen when they remove my Wisdom teeth.  How they'll knock me unconscious and cut into my mouth...how they'll need to use a bone saw to cut through my teeth, shattering them into pieces while still inside my jaw...thus allowing them to pry out the shattered, sawed up remains of these silly, sideways teeth.  How the bones inside my face will then hopefully heal up and fill in the missing spaces over the next days and weeks...

The Dentist also explained what would happen if I choose NOT to have the teeth removed.  How they are growing sideways, moving and pressuring my other teeth, grinding into my healthier, more well behaved molars on the sides, destroying both themselves and the useful, cooperative teeth.  He explained how there is an excellent chance that this will cause injury and infection in my mouth.  How the putrid swelling will begin once the infection sinks in, causing the teeth to start rotting in my head...he described the way that PUS will start to build up in the gaps within my jaw and cheeks...how they may have to drill holes up through my face to drain the pus pockets caused by the disgusting, infected Wisdom teeth that I didn't have removed in time!

There's only about a 50-60% chance that the pus thing will happen.  The grinding into healthy teeth until problems arise?  Already started, and very likely to continue, causing more problems the longer it goes on....

SO...the WISDOM comes, not because these teeth grow as you get older, but because these teeth provide you with the opportunity to make the WISE choice!  Do I suffer the certain pain and torment of having them removed?  OR do I take my chances and possibly suffer the much, much worse fate from leaving them the way they are?  There *is* a small chance that everything will just stay the way it is and be fine and I needn't suffer at all if I take no action... 

Too bad that is a fool's hope....I think the WISE choice is obvious.  Have the teeth removed!  I can even get paid time off work for it! 

Still....I don't wanna!!! 

OF COURSE I'm going to do it anyway.  I'm hoping to get an appointment for January.  I'm trying to find WISDOM.

Here's a secret...I have already been FOOLISH.  I've known about this problem for YEARS AND YEARS!  The last time I went to the Dentist he told me about all of this.  He gave me the number to call the surgeon and make the consultation appointment and to get the ball started. 

I.............well........I "lost" the information he gave me and then avoided going to the dentist at ALL for YEARS.  Until yesterday...

Co-incidence?  I think not....

But I finally went.  Perhaps this is a good sign?

Friday 22 November 2013

Encouraging Diabolical Tendencies


The other day my buddy brought me a box of action figures from the late 80's.  His parents wanted that crap out of their basement and he immediately thought of me!  Within the box I found a few Transformers and both the Batmobile and the Batwing from Tim Burton's Batman '89.  Also various action figures...including one of Superman that I used to have back in the day!

The Superman figure made me smile when I saw it again.  I got a lot of amusement out of it as a child, for you see, this figure has a special action feature.  Contained within the chest of the figure is a weak magnet.  Also included with the figure was a child-sized plastic ring with a green "gem"...a Kryptonite ring!  Just like the one Lex Luthor wears!  Obviously, the ring ALSO has a weak magnet within...and when you hold the ring up to Superman, the two magnets push against each other.  In effect, Superman is REPELLED by KRYTPONITE!  Cool!  The power of magnetism, finally useful!

Now, obviously I relate to Superman.  I wear the T-Shirt, I buy the comics, I even have my own Superman outfit.  However this action figure encouraged me as a child to play, not the hero, but rather the VILLAIN!  And so play the villain I did!  I often pretended that I was Lex Luthor...attacking Superman with Kryptonite...somehow changed into a giant through...you know, technology or something.  And it's fun to play the villain!  Externalize all of the heroics and let yourself eventually be "defeated" by an army of brave little toys...

I thought of it again when I saw the most recent issue of Superman Unchained:


Lex Luthor...holding a Superman action figure...just like me when I was 10!  Diabolical!

Saturday 16 November 2013

Winter Beard and Batman Toque...


I knew I had to keep shaving throughout October to keep my Halloween "Super"...but with the start of November, the mood has shifted!  The Sun has set on Metropolis and Winter is coming!

And along with Winter?  Long, dark nights...

Long dark nights that require a protector...a shadow to strike fear into the hearts of evildoers...A Dark Knight!

Move over Superman!  Clearly I have Batman on the brain!  My plans today include playing several hours of BATMAN: Arkham Origins and possibly taking a break to reorganize my Batmobile collection.

So clearly I'm busy and ought to get to the point...which is simply that it's late fall and I wanted to show off my Batman toque.  Bought it at FanExpo but it entered "active service" today!  Also, I'm growing a beard:


Winter! 

Friday 8 November 2013

On any Thursday in November...


Yesterday I woke up early.  I had a shower and checked my email and then I wandered out into the city.  I took the subway to Bay street and had breakfast.  Then I hopped back on the train and went to Ossington for a haircut.

After the haircut I walked back to Bathurst to visit the record store.  I bought the albums Who's Next by the Who and a big double album - August and Everything After: Live at Town Hall by Counting Crows. 

I came home and ran a bath...lit some candles and put the Counting Crows album on the turntable.  The first track is a medley of the songs "Round Here" and "Raining in Baltimore", already two of my favourite songs, with an addition to the ending...a new verse about a girl trapped an island...

 
"So she sends a boat out on the sea - with a little note for me
 it says:

Why are all the girls so hungry?
So why are all the girls so hungry?
& why are all the boys so lonely?
& why can't anybody see me?  
Why?"

And I thought about it a lot and surely it's meant as a metaphor but I wonder...if all the girls in the world got together and conspired to each gain 15 pounds...the skinniest girl would still be the skinniest girl and the fattest girl would still be the fattest girl and all the girls might be a little less hungry and maybe a little nicer because of it....and maybe none of us would need to be quite as lonely as we are.

Of course it would never work...too many girls would cheat.

Too bad.  Speaking for myself, I'd much rather spend my time with a girl who is full and chubby and happy than a girl who is hungry and skinny and angry.  

I guess I just don't understand society.

But it doesn't matter...since of course it's not meant to be taken literally...

Friday 1 November 2013

The NEW Adventures of Superman!


In a blur of motion, faster than a speeding bullet, SUPERMAN arrives!


"With my super-senses I heard loud noises and high-pitched squeals coming from this apartment!  I'd better investigate!"


"Have no  fear, Superman is here!!"


"I've found some sort of strange, alien technology!  I think it might be the key to saving the day...let me examine it more closely with my x-ray vision!"


"What could it be?  What is it for?"


 "Great Scott!  I think I've discovered the answer!!"


"It acts as some sort of hypnotic prison for hot girls!  These two ladies won't cause any more trouble tonight!"


"This looks like a job for SUPERMAN!!!"




*With thanks to Jeff, Doris and Joy!